


Until It's Time For You To Go

by der_tanzer



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 02:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/der_tanzer/pseuds/der_tanzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reid is recovering from a nasty case of anthrax, but it's his heart that's really bothering him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until It's Time For You To Go

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate ending to episode 4.24 _Amplification_.

Reid finished playing with his mashed potatoes and pushed his dinner tray to the edge of the table. Morgan looked away from the TV, eyes narrowed in concern.

“You ought to finish that, kid.”

“Not right now,” he said weakly, his voice rising a little at the end of the sentence as if asking if it was all right. But it wasn’t really a question. Rather it was another example of his disconnect with society—the feeling that no matter how simple his words and the concept they conveyed might be, the listener was unlikely to understand.

“What’s going on? Should I call the nurse?”

“Why did you leave?” Reid asked. Morgan blinked in surprise, trying to figure out the connection between his question and Reid’s answer. Or the answer to Reid’s question. Whichever it was, he didn’t have it.

“What are you talking about? I’ve been sitting here all day.”

“This morning, at the house. You said you wouldn’t leave me and you did.” Again it was a statement, but his cautious inflection put a question mark at the end, as if Morgan could maybe explain that it didn’t happen. Reid might have been hallucinating already, rather than starting in the ambulance like he thought. If Morgan had said that, he would have tried to believe.

“You told me to, remember? I said I’d stay, and you said you were about to get naked so they could scrub you down. You asked if I wanted to watch.”

“And you said no,” Reid murmured, staring at his bandaged hand.

“I thought you wanted me to go,” he said gently, rising and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “It wouldn’t have looked right to stay after you put it like that. You have an eidetic memory, baby. You know the fraternization policy better than I do.”

“Just because I actually read it,” Reid muttered. For the first time there was no lilting question hidden in the sentence. And, better still, the corners of his mouth began twitching against a smile.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t get around to it. But even I know enough to not make naked jokes in front of the haz-mat team.” Morgan wrapped his fingers around Reid’s injured hand and knew it would be all right when he didn’t avert his eyes. When Reid was trying to insulate himself from the world, intruding on his field of vision was sometimes worse than touching him.

“I was trying to be—casual,” he said, questioning once again. “Everyone was so scared, I—I thought it might…lighten the mood? I thought you’d have a really snappy comeback to make it okay. Make it…funny. So you wouldn’t have to go.”

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t understand.”

“I know,” he sighed. “But you left so _easily_. Like you… _wanted_ to. I was trying to be brave, but I was so scared, Derek. I wanted you with me in the ambulance and…and no one was there at all.”

“Spencer, _no_ ,” Morgan said firmly, squeezing his hand so hard he winced. “I’m sorry you were alone. We never meant for that to happen. But you _were_ being brave. You were so great… I really thought you wanted me to go, and I knew you could handle it if I did.”

“But you _wanted_ …”

“No I _didn’t_ ,” he insisted. With his free hand he grasped Reid’s chin and tilted it up until their eyes met. “I _didn’t_ want to go. You _told_ me to, and I didn’t…” Morgan paused, swallowing hard, and Reid was horrified to see he was blinking back tears. “Baby, I was freaking out the whole time. All I _wanted_ was to be inside that house with you. And when you were out, when you said you were okay and we thought you might not get sick at all…I just had to get away for a few minutes. I—I didn’t want you to see me cry, okay? Are you satisfied now?”

“I didn’t want you to cry,” he whispered and there was no question this time. Morgan’s hand relaxed on his chin and gently slipped upward to cup his cheek.

“Sometimes it isn’t all about what _you_ want, genius. You could lock me out of the house, you could make me stand outside totally helpless while you risked your life alone and _then_ sent me away, but you can’t make me not _feel_. You got that, Spencer?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I got that,” he said, twitching back another smile. “But—can I make you not feel bad _now_?”

“Yeah, you probably can. Give me a smile and a kiss, gorgeous, and then finish your dinner.”

Reid smiled and glanced at the tray. “How about two out of three?”

“Done,” Morgan grinned. “But that kiss had better be a good one.”


End file.
